Merry+Hanukkah!!!

Gemini talks with scorpio Vertigo dreams of getting laid. Meanwhile politicians debate whether, Tortellini should be a fruit. why would tortellini want to be a fruit? It’s far too content being related to a doughnut. Mariah Carrey sings to the tortellini Christmas and going on a pastafarian diet To celebrate a little boys birth And how they killed him because Some large man in a red suit threw Golden oranges down their smoke stacks Suddenly a talking snowman calls out HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Only to realize that he’s a little late cause the kids already dead not to mention that he no knows who HAPPY B_DAY it be. Then it snows so hard that the snowman Is buried in his own flesh. Hydrophilic mass grave So a drunk deer with a cold comes along and uses his big red nose To let the big fat dude fly around breaking into people’s houses //So they don’t __get__ pissed off// **He leaves a crap load of toys after he eats all their cookies and drinks all their milk.** they cut down trees and string perfectly good popcorn around it this self-proclaimed saint has a place to put all the gifts. Then they make a season for him that encompasses anywhere from a month to a quarter of the year.

Thus the tortellini was consumed life continues. Businesses boom the demand for prostitution and guns. People die life continues Eventually all the bombs go off One giant orgasm Cockroaches rule the world.

This actually isn't the entire thing. The entire piece has a Calvin & Hobbes cartoon with Calvin's epic snowmen right before the tortellini was consumed.